Depart Out • Harold Camping • End of the world • church age • Family Radio • View topic

Joined: 05 Nov 2009 Posts: 805

TULIP:

T - Total Inability. The average believer does not have the ability to understand the deep and hidden truths of Scripture. The entire Bible is a dark parable. If believers rely on their own mental abilities and follow the "plain meaning" of Scripture, they will fall into all the snares and traps that God has set for the church.

U - Unconditional Surrender. In order to truly understand the Bible, believers must unconditionally surrender their minds to Harold Camping. He is the one to whom God has opened the seals of end times biblical knowledge. If Harold Camping changes his position on any doctrine, faithful believers must mindlessly and obediently change their position on that doctrine too.

L - Limited Ability of the Holy Spirit. Believers must recognize that the church is now dead and that the Holy Spirit is no longer able to save anyone in the churches. (Whether one believes salvation is still possible in a church parking lot remains unclear and so should be considered a point of non essential doctrine). In any case, we must understand that the Holy Spirit's hands have now been tied. The message must be sent out to the world that in order for there to be any possibilty of salvation, all persons must immediately flee all the local congregations.

I - Irresistable Calender Proofs. God has filled the Bible with numerous timelines that offer believers amazing proofs that the Rapture will occur on May 21, 2011. The most amazing of all is that there are 722,500 days between Christ's Crucifixion and May 21, 2011! Any honest evaluation of these biblical timepaths can lead to no other conclusion than that the world as we know it will end after a five month period of horrors ending on October 21, 2011.

P - Perseverance of Family Radio. God has raised up Family Radio as the last and only remaining beacon of biblical truth in the world. It is the custodian of the "end times gospel" that God is using to sow the seed for the Latter Rain harvest where God will save an amazing 200 million souls through the good news of May 21, 2011. It is the only ministry that will persevere right up until that fateful day.

Joined: 10 Feb 2008 Posts: 650

T.U.L.I.P.

That's a hoot. Painfully true but a hoot.

Joined: 28 Mar 2009 Posts: 1244

Gee...the Scoffers are working really hard tonight. I wonder how long it took Frank to write that up? Do you feel better Frank? After ranting at Camping? Let it all out....go ahead Frank. Scream all you want.

AHHHHHHHHHAARRRGGGHGHHHH!

It won't change a damn thing. May 21, 2011 is coming, and you know it! In the mean time, feel free to continue writing comedic pieces...

I understand. Just imagine how you'll feel on May 20, 2011....

I can hear the screaming noises already....

Joined: 10 Feb 2008 Posts: 650

TB "I can hear the screaming noises already...."

TB, the screaming noise will be emanating from Hegenberger Rd. in Oakland, Ca. and it won't be because the "Raiduhs" suck ( though they do).

It will be because they realize Harold burned 'em again.

The old saints at F.R. seem to be extremely slow learners actually.

Joined: 05 Nov 2009 Posts: 805

TrueBeliever wrote

Gee...the Scoffers are working really hard tonight. I wonder how long it took Frank to write that up?

It didn't take long at all TB, about 15 minutes or so. The reason it didn't take long is because not much creativity was necessary. Everything I said was true.....there wasn't much to think up....I just presented it with a bit of mild satire to underscore the foolishness of it all. I'm sorry if it offends you. If you want to call what I'm doing "scoffing"...that's fine. But what I'm scoffing at are false doctrines, not people. I have never ridiculed Harold Camping as a person by calling him names. I mock only the false doctrines he brings. Any "scoffing" I do is nothing compared to the gutter talk scoffing that is aimed at God's very people by some of the Camping friends on this forum calling them whores, weeds, etc. You and Witness are not merely scoffing at what you consider false doctrines, you are scoffing at many of God's elect Bride. Those who scoff at any of God's elect scoff at Him.

Joined: 16 Jun 2010 Posts: 644

@Frank,

I suggest thinking before you post. You say, "you are scoffing at many of God's elect Bride." I say, Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Please!! Is this still prat of the Camping comedy rant!!! Hahahahaha!

Frank, you are a church WHORE, NOT an elect Bride of Christ. Do you think the Lord will 'marry' a prostitute? Church weeds have betrayed the Lord. Church weeds are the Lord's WORST ENEMIES!! Church weeds will be incinerated in 44 weeks, not be blessed by the Lord!!

Joined: 05 Nov 2009 Posts: 805

WitnessoftheTruth wrote

@Frank,

I suggest thinking before you post. You say, "you are scoffing at many of God's elect Bride." I say, Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Please!! Is this still prat of the Camping comedy rant!!! Hahahahaha!

Frank, you are a church WHORE, NOT an elect Bride of Christ. Do you think the Lord will 'marry' a prostitute? Church weeds have betrayed the Lord. Church weeds are the Lord's WORST ENEMIES!! Church weeds will be incinerated in 44 weeks, not be blessed by the Lord!!

Really Witness...you need to find some new material....

Joined: 08 Mar 2009 Posts: 454

Hmm, perhaps this website could be divided into 2 sections, one for those who want to write satire and another for those who want to have a biblical discussion. Just a thought...

Joined: 05 Nov 2009 Posts: 805

2Peter3_4 wrote

Hmm, perhaps this website could be divided into 2 sections, one for those who want to write satire and another for those who want to have a biblical discussion. Just a thought...

I have a better idea. How about dividing this website into 2 sections....one for those who can have a civil discussion and one for those who can't. I'm not surprised you seem to have taken far more offense to my one post of mild satire than the gutter talk of your fellow Camping friends who regularly call people whores, weeds, etc. But I guess the fact that they support Camping means whatever they say must be considered a "biblical discussion".

Joined: 28 Mar 2009 Posts: 1244

Pr 12:17 He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.

Frank, it's always about TRUTH...not polite lies...

Joined: 05 Nov 2009 Posts: 805

TrueBeliever wrote

Pr 12:17 He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.

Frank, it's always about TRUTH...not polite lies...

TB,
Guess what....everything I said in my "five points" is true.

Joined: 16 Jun 2010 Posts: 644

@Frank,

My thoughts exactly!! Everything I posted is Truth also!! That makes one of us a LIAR!

My Bible tells me the LIARS are in the churches, WORSHIPPING the father of lies, satan. Whores/Weeds is BIBLICAL language. Are you offended, because the language condemns your behavior? That's what it's supposed to do!!!

You are OFFENSIVE to me. You and the other church weeds/tares, have polluted my Fathers House. For with the punishment will be decisive, and eternal. My words are mild compared to what's coming in 44 weeks. You have no idea what you are facing, even though I post EVERY DAY on this forum!! A blind man, being lead by other blind men.

Joined: 28 Jun 2008 Posts: 652

2Peter3_4 wrote

Hmm, perhaps this website could be divided into 2 sections, one for those who want to write satire and another for those who want to have a biblical discussion. Just a thought...

Personally, if I did not interject some humour at times I think I would have gone insane in the insanity which is called campingworld. From the point of view of most christians, the doctrines which are being peddled as serious by such fine standing and refined camping followers as II Peter are nothing but utter nonsense for those who are well grounded in the christian faith and doctrine. We may say they do not have their eyes opened, and this is true, yet it does not negate the fact these doctrines border on the insanely comical, it must be said. Neither the Son is satan? Cry out and hope you are saved as they hope next week they will win the lottery? Mathematical equations in where?.. the Word of God, leading to date-setting? The Son is the confused Father? The entire Church of Christ is ruled by Satan? The end of the church age and a third covenant? One lone senile engineer discovering the secret day of Christ's return? Christ is not coming physically and every eye shall not see Him? Christ death at the Cross was a what?.... a demonstration? Absolute absurdities! Men who are given to Satan become spiritually insane. They are not able to distinguish reality from spiritual absurdity.

Now our dearly departed outer II Peter will stand in his clean cut manner and presume to parody a refined campingism to us, which we will say is unconvincing. He in substance believes, in his heart, the very same blasphemies that our demonstration Messiah so crudely does not articulate.
God looketh upon the heart and not the outward form; He will judge accordingly.

Joined: 26 Jun 2010 Posts: 212

WitnessoftheTruth wrote

You are OFFENSIVE to me. You and the other church weeds/tares, have polluted my Fathers House. For with the punishment will be decisive, and eternal. My words are mild compared to what's coming in 44 weeks. You have no idea what you are facing, even though I post EVERY DAY on this forum!! A blind man, being lead by other blind men.

Here's something for all of us to think about:

(1 Corinthians 13:2) And though I have [the gift of] prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, <26> I am nothing.

(2 Peter 1:4-10) Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. <26> For if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

Joined: 16 Jun 2010 Posts: 644

@peter,

Keep speaking church weeds. Your own speech condems you, even though you cannot 'see' it. Peter joyfully states:

"From the point of view of most christians, the doctrines which are being peddled as serious by such fine standing and refined camping followers as II Peter are nothing but utter nonsense for those who are well grounded in the christian faith and doctrine."

After I stopped laughing, I decided to post Biblical Truth to offest the confusion satan has sown in the congregation thoughout the Church Age (0033-1988). Yes, the Church Age has been over for 22 years now, but the corpses in the pews remain.

Peter, if you had ANY CLUE of Biblical Truth, you would know MOST Christians will be left behind at the Rapture, now only 44 weeks from today. Why would MOST self professing Christians be left behind? THEY DON"T BELONG TO THE LORD! If someone does NOT belong to the Lord, by default, they belong to satan. So, MOST so-called Christians are confessing their father satan, without even realizing it. That is, until they get left behind, to enter the Lake of Fire on May 21, 2011.

Therefore, the satan confessors in the local congregations are opposed to Biblical Truth. They view the Truth as the lie, just as their predessors the pharisees did, to fleshly Jesus. Calling the Author of Truth, the Lord Jesus Christ, a LIAR!

Praise the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, The Lord Jesus Christ, the ONLY Wise God!!